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As we all know, the blessing of having a baby is often accompanied by physiological side effects, and the appearance of stretch marks is one of them.  Since I’m usually all for prevention, I have decided to do everything I can to at least minimize, if not completely prevent, any stretch marks during my pregnancy.  Here are a few things that I’ve learned:

What causes stretch marks:  Stretch marks are caused by the rapid expansion of skin due to weight gain (especially on our breasts, thighs, and tummy) during pregnancy, as well as the hormonal factors that can reduce the skin’s elasticity.  The propensity for stretch marks is also somewhat hereditary, so if your mother and grandmother had them, then you are likely to develop them as well. 

How to prevent stretch marks:  While there is little you can do to influence the above factors, the good news is that there are still a few solutions that can help minimize their appearance.

1. Hydration.  Keeping your skin hydrated is probably the best prevention strategy.  Lotions and creams containing Vitamin E are a great way to keep your skin hydrated and soothe itchiness during pregnancy, and you can find a wide selection of them at any drugstore.  There are also some targeted treatments specifically designed for stretch mark prevention; however, these tend to be more expensive.  It is one of the things that I have decided to splurge on, so I have been using Clarins Stretch Mark Contol cream and have been very happy with it so far: it is rich, but also fast-absorbing, so it keeps my belly skin soothed and hydrated throughout the day.
2. Massage.  You can help your skin’s elasticity by using gentle massage every day as you apply the hydrating cream or lotion recommended above.  Apply the cream or lotion with light, circular movements to your things, hips, abdomen and breasts.  This will help improve circulation and strengthen the skin by lightly stretching it so that it can become more resilient and expand more comfortably.
3. Diet.  Diet can have a great effect on your skin’s elasticity, so making sure that your eating habits are nutritionally sound and that your weight gain is gradual can also go a long way.

Hopefully, by following the suggestions above, we can all prevent or at least reduce the appearance of stretch marks.  And while most stretch marks will naturally fade somewhat after pregnancy, there are also other ways, including prescription creams such as Retin-A or laser treatments, that can help reduce their visibility.

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• Pregnancy: First Things First
• Top 5 Options for Early Pregnancy Clothing

The early stages of the pregnancy present many challenges for the expectant mother, and getting the clothes to fit is usually one of them.  Although not being able to fit into your regular clothes can be very frustrating, it does not mean that you have to resort to swimming in oversized “maternity” clothes or buy a whole new wardrobe. 

I didn’t start “showing” until my 4th month, but I noticed fairly early on that I was starting to get a little belly and the clothes that were close-fitting around my waist no longer fit. Yet I was still not big enough to wear maternity clothes, so I had to come up with some creative ways to extend my options without sacrificing my style or going on a shopping spree. Here are my top 5 solutions for getting through that awkward phase with style:

1. Start with your closet.  The best way to begin is to take an assessment of the things you already have.  Look for anything that may have been a bit too big for you before you were pregnant, anything with elastic or drawstring waist, low-rise waist, or any loose-fitting styles.  When I did that, I found quite a few things that I could comfortably wear through the early stages of my pregnancy (and some of them I’m still wearing now, in my fifth month.)
2. Use a rubber band.  One ingenious idea that I read somewhere is wrapping a rubber band around the button of your pants, then putting it through the button hole and fastening it back to the button.  This automatically creates an “elastic waist” for your pants, so that you can wear your regular pants, jeans, and shorts well into your pregnancy.  You can also simply leave your pants unbuttoned, as long as you wear something that’s long enough to cover it up.
3. Invest in a Bella Band.
   This was one of my first maternity-related purchases, and it has really been a life-saver.  In essence, it’s a wide elasic band that goes all around your belly.  Without being too tight, it grips the tops of your pants and skirts and helps hold them up even when they are unbuttoned or unzipped. It can also be used to wear some maternity styles early in your pregnancy by holding them up so that they don’t sag. It also provides a nice support for your growing belly without being at all restrictive or uncomfortable. Plus, it comes in great colors and looks cute even peeking from under your clothes.
4. Borrow.  If you have friends or relatives who were recently pregnant or maybe lost some weight, see if you can borrow their no longer used clothes. Especially when it comes to maternity clothes, most women are more than happy to share, and because those clothes tend to have been worn only for a few months, they are usually in great shape.
5. Buy non-maternity.  Although I’ve tried to resist buying anything new unless absolutely necessary, I’ve actually been surprised by how many suitable clothing options can be found at a regular non-maternity store. I especially recommend going to discount stores such as TJ Maxx, where you can find a lot of current styles are really affordable prices.  Look for clothes a size bigger than what you normally wear and that can acommodate your growing belly. Anything with elastic or drawstring waist works really well for skirts and pants (just make sure there is enough “give” there so that it can expand with your belly), as do the very popular now empire-waist styles for tops and dresses.

By following these ideas, you can probably easily go through the first three or four (and more!) months of your pregnancy without having to invest in a whole new wardrobe. As you adjust to your changing shape, you can then decide to invest in a few maternity outfits as needed. 

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• Pregnancy: First Things First
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When I posted the article on writing a personal mission statement a few days ago, some of you may have been left wondering, “What does having a mission statement have to do with my everyday life?”  The truth is, anyone can (and should!) have a mission statement, whether you are a stay-at-home mom or a career executive.  It doesn’t have to be grand, but it has to reflect who you are and what is important to you as a person - as simple as that.

To illustrate what I mean, I would like to share with you as an example my personal mission statement.  It has evolved somewhat over the years, but still remains remarkably close to the original version. 

Elena’s Personal Mission Statement

Love others as I love myself.
Pursue Growth – personal and spiritual.
Strive for Excellence in everything I choose to do.
Maintain my Integrity through each decision and action.

• I will strive to be in closer communion with God through regular practice, study, and my everyday thoughts and actions.
• I will build a strong relationship with my husband, based on unconditional trust, respect, love, support, patience, and devotion. Together, we will create a home that is a place of joy, comfort, peace, and happiness for our family and guests.
• I will love my daughter unconditionally. I will make spending quality time with her a priority. I will pass to her my knowledge, wisdom, and values. I will teach her by example. I will support her in the choices she makes.
• I will show love and respect for my parents, be forgiving of their shortcomings, give them generously of my time and attention, and be thankful for all the love and support that they have given me.
• I will always be present in the lives of my brother and sister. I will strive to be an example and inspiration to them, as well as a source of unconditional love and support.
• I will be generous, loyal, and dependable friend. I will actively maintain connections with my close friends and be a source of joy and support to them.
• I will have confidence in my abilities and determination to pursue my goals. I will be an inspiration to others and share with them what I learn. I will work toward having complete financial freedom and independence while maintaining a balanced life and staying true to my values.

If you are interested in creating a mission statement for your own life, I would suggest that you start with this article, which will take you through the entire process and provide suggestions for additional tools and resources.

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• How to Write a Personal Mission Statement

Every Monday, I will do a digest of articles, news, and resources that may be of interest to my readers.

• For the latest crop of articles related to pregnancy, take a look at the Pregnancy Carnival hosted by Nerd Family.  In this week’s edition, it features my article on How to Go from Overwhelmed to Productive.
• For more of the family-related posts, visit the Family Life Carnival, which this week features a whopping 76 entries, including my article on Naming a Baby, hosted over at Write from Karen. 
• If you are like me and are interested in personal development and self-improvement, a subject that’s always been near and dear to my heart, then I highly recommend the following terrific carnivals, which also feature my article on How to Write a Personal Mission Statement:
  • Carnival of Positive Thinking
  • Made to Be Great Personal Development Carnival
  • Personal Development & Happines Carnival
  • Personal Development Carnival
• From mental to physical well-being, head on over to the always informative Total Mind and Body Fitness Carnival, hosted over at FitBuff.com, which this week features my article on When to Buy Organic Food.
• Staying on the subject of food, are you looking for a good source of weekly recipes to simplify your life?  I came across this website, Saving Dinner, which offers many options for weekly menu planning.  Although they offer a subscription service, you can download many of the sample weekly menus for free.  My favorite thing about these menus is that they include a complete shopping list, so you can buy everything you need for that week’s menu in one shopping trip.  I also like the “Freezer Meals” section, because I’m an aspiring freezer cook and always looking for ideas for make-ahead meals.
• Going from the kitchen to the outdoors, I liked Dr. Weill’s tip, The Benefits of Gardening.  I have a small patio garden that I love to work on, and I can attest to the beneficial effects of gardening, both physical and mental.  Because I spend every day at work (and then at home) in front of the computer, I find physical outdoor activity such as gardening very therapeutic and relaxing.  As an added benefit, I then have a beautiful sanctuary to use for further relaxation and enjoyment.  (On the same page, you can also subscribe to receive free daily tips like this one from Dr. Weill on health and well-being topics, which I always find very enlightening and educational.)

As any expectant mother can attest, physical discomfort is one of the major side effects of pregnancy.  The compounding effects of extra weight, rapid changes in our body, difficulty sleeping, and emotional stress as we get ready for the baby, can be a cause of sore muscles, tension, and aches.  Having just crossed the half-way mark of my pregnancy, I have been starting to feel all of those effects, both physical and emotional, so there couldn’t have been a better timing for getting my first pregnancy massage!

It just so happens that my mom had booked me for a session at the Elizabeth Arden Red Door Spa in San Francisco today.  She was getting a facial, and as a special gift to me, she offered to get me a massage at the same time.  (Since I’ve been trying to save money in anticipation of the baby’s arrival, I wouldn’t have splurged on something like this for myself, so thank you mom!)  We arrived at the Red Door at 10 am sharp for our appointments.  We were then immediately taken back to the changing room, where we put on our robes and slippers and were offered some tea and coffee (I opted for some herbal chamomile tea).  After less than a minute, my massage therapist Elvira invited me to a private massage room.

Once in the room, as I was looking at the liability waiver that I had to sign, I got a little nervous.  I asked Elvira about her experience with giving pregnancy massages, and she informed me that all of the massage therapists at the spa were certified in prenatal massage techniques, which put my mind at ease.  She then proceeded to show me the special pregnancy massage setup.  In essence, it consisted of a special padded form on top of a massage table, with openings for the breasts and the belly, as well as a round form to support the face.  As I placed myself on top of that setup, belly down, it actually felt very comfortable.  I couldn’t believe that I was lying on my stomach again - I’d already forgotten what that feels like!

With that, Elvira began to gently work on my back.  After a nice warm-up, she started working her way down one side from my shoulders to the lower back, and then back up the other side to the shoulders.  The massage was gentle, yet firm, and she was able to work on some of the stiff muscles in my shoulders, where I tend to carry a lot of my stress.  She then did my neck and the back of my head, before moving down to the legs.  She massaged the legs and feet, concentrating for a while on the calves, which felt wonderful.  With my back finished, Elvira removed the padding from the table so that I could lay flat on my back for a massage of the shoulders, arms, and the front of the legs.

Our fifty minutes were up quickly (I could have easily gone for another fifty!), but I could already feel totally different.  I no longer had any aches, tension or discomfort - my body felt as good as new, and mentally I felt relaxed.  Even if it hadn’t been a gift, this experience would have been totally worth it for me.  As mothers, we go through a lot in bringing a baby into the world, and I think that every pregnant woman deserves to do something nice for herself during this special time.  If you are pregnant, or know someone who is and want to give them a special gift, a prenatal massage is a treat that I would wholeheartedly recommend.

Fundamentally, your mission statement becomes your constitution, the solid expression of your vision and values. It becomes the criterion by which you measure everything else in your life.” - Stephen R. Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

I have read Steven Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People several times and it still remains one of the most influential books that I’ve ever read. One day I will probably write a more in-depth post about this personal development classic, but today I want to focus on one powerful concept introduced in that book: a personal mission statement. While many companies proudly display their corporate mission statements, few individuals take the time to create one for themselves. The basic idea, however, is the same - a personal mission statement is the statement of your core values, of what is truly important to you in life. The power of having a mission statement lays in enabling you to align your everyday actions with what is truly important to you. When your actions and values are not aligned, you feel depressed, anxious, and dissatisfied. When they are in alignment, you feel happy and fulfilled because you are leaving your life’s purpose. Mission statement serves as a compass to ensure that you stay on that course.

Here are some tips for writing a personal mission statement, adapted from The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People and my own experience (for an example, see my personal mission statement):

1. Create a Vision.
   In order to identify what truly matters to you in life, you first have to expand your perspective.  You can do that by visualizing your twenty-fifth and then fiftieth wedding anniversary, your retirement from your current occupation, or even your own funeral. In each of these visualization exercises, try to capture the essence of what you want to have created/achieved by that time. Personally, I have found meditation to be a very powerful tool for visualization and a good starting point in formulating my mission statement. The key steps are:
   1. Begin with stretching exercises and coordinate them with long deep breaths.
   2. Lie on your back or sit in a comfortable upright position.
   3. Relax your body and empty your mind by concentrating on your breathing. You may play soft music or light a scented candle for relaxation. 
   4. Once you feel completely relaxed and your mind is calm, begin the meditation.
   5. Visualize yourself at the end of your life, feeling completely content and satisfied with everything you have achieved and having done everything you wanted to do. The key here is to actually feel what it would be like being in that state.
   6. Translate what you have seen into long-term, ambitious goals for your self, and then work back to more realistic objectives by filling in details of what you need to do in order to reach those goals. If you have never done meditation or visualizations before, it may take several practice trials, but when you do get the clear vision of what you want your life to be, it will be a profound experience. This exercise should also be repeated as many times as necessary and on a regular basis in order to realign yourself with your vision, as well as to accommodate any changes as your life progresses.
2. Identify Your Roles and Goals. 
   A way to achieve a balanced mission statement is to break it down into specific roles in your life (for example, mother, daughter, writer, etc.) and the accompanying goals that you want to accomplish in each of these areas. It is important to balance all of your roles to ensure that one doesn’t completely take over your life. Your goals for each role should be long-term, focused on results rather than activity. They identify where you want to be and give focus and purpose to your everyday activities.
3. Compose the Mission Statement
   Write a mission statement based on what you have learned through the above exercises. It should incorporate your roles and goals, and be specific as to what you want to be (Character) and what you want to accomplish (Contributions and Achievements). It may take days or even months to write a strong mission statement (it took me almost a year to do my first one), and even then it should be consulted regularly and revised as necessary.

If you still want some help with writing your mission statement, the FranklinCovey website has this free tool, which will take you through the entire process step by step. They also offer many other tools and products that help incorporate your personal mission statement into your everyday planning process. (As a special offer, readers of BusyBeeMama.com will get a discount on FranklinCovey products by clicking through the button below).

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Babies don’t care if they’re wearing designer clothes or sleeping on designer sheets. Let’s be realistic. Babies just want to be comfortable.” - From Baby Bargains

After the initial delight of finding out that I was pregnant, my mind moved on to the more practical things (as it’s generally prone to do).  One of those things was getting ready for the baby’s arrival.  Unfortunately, being a first-time expectant mother, I had only a vague idea of what “baby things” one actually needs.  Sure, I knew a few basics - like a crib, for example.  But even when it comes to choosing a crib, I wasn’t really sure what to look for, and with cribs ranging in price from one hundred to over a thousand dollars, I also wanted to make the smart decision financially.  With the dizzying array of baby and maternity products available, it is difficult for new parents to choose the right products and separate the essentials from wastes of money.  Baby products being a multi-billion dollar industry, many manufacturers play on the parents’ desire to get the best thing possible for their baby combined with lack of knowledge about what they really need. 

Determined to make the best possible choices for my future baby, I did some research and came across Baby Bargains.  In its 7th edition at the time of this writing, this book is considered the “Consumer Reports” of baby and maternity products, and having now read it, I have to agree that it is a “must” for new parents.

The book is organized by chapters, each pertaining to a specific category of products, such as “Nursery Necessities”, “Maternity/Nursing Clothes”, “Car Seats”, etc.  Within each category, it goes into detail on the product basics, what you need when, where to find these products, and what to look for.  Each chapter also includes many money-saving tips, including my favorite section, “Wastes of Money”.  Finally, each chapter provides ratings and recommendations of specific retailers and brand names. 

What I like the most about this book is that it’s comprehensive and objective.  While the title suggests that its goal is to help you save money, the price is not the sole guiding factor and is balanced with other considerations, such as the quality of the product and what is best for the baby.  The book features all major brands, not just the cheapest ones, and provides suggestions in all price categories.  That way, if you really want to splurge in one area, at least you will know what is worth spending those extra dollars on.

Even though we haven’t started purchasing any baby products yet, I’m already finding the book essential in doing research and putting together the list of things to buy.  I have also been able to put its chapter on maternity products to good use even in the earlier stages of my pregnancy.  I highly recommend it for all expectant parents as a true life-saver (and a money-saver too).

We all know the value of eating healthy, and with the growing awareness of the dangers of pesticides in produce and wider availability of organic products, more and more people are considering organic options when choosing their food.  For the last couple of years, I also have been trying to incorporate organic into my diet whenever possible.  Now that I’m pregnant, my nutrition and the quality of food that I eat are even more important than ever.  However, I am also more cost-conscious as we now have all the baby-related expenses to worry about, and as we all know, organic food tends to be expensive.  While it’s impossible to put a price on healthy living, do we really know what exactly we are getting when we buy organic and when does it really matter?  To that end, I have put together the following facts and suggestions that take the guesswork out of choosing organic food and enable you to make smart choices when it comes to buying organic without going broke.

1. What does ”organic” mean?  According to Wikipedia:
   

   Organic foods are produced according to certain production standards. For crops, it means they were grown without the use of conventional pesticides, artificial fertilizers, human waste, or sewage sludge, and that they were processed without ionizing radiation or food additives. For animals, it means they were reared without the routine use of antibiotics and without the use of growth hormones. In most countries, organic produce must not be genetically modified.”

2. Not all “organic” food is created equal.  Just because something says “organic” on its packaging, it doesn’t necessarily mean that it meets the government regulations for organic food.  I’ve seen some products labeled “organic” where only one or two ingredients are organic, while the rest are conventional, so be careful when reading the label and make sure to read the list of ingredients.  The only way to really know that you are buying organic food is to look for label that says “certified organic”.  Each country has its own set of standards for the way food is grown and manufactured in order for it to have organic certification.  In the US, look for the “USDA Organic” seal that identifies products with at least 95% organic ingredients.
3. Some products are worth buying organic more than others.  When you think about buying produce, the main reason why you would want to buy organic is to minimize your exposure to pesticides.  The amount of pesticides used in commercial farming typically depends on the extent to which particular fruits and vegetables are prone to pests and parasites.  The more prone they are, the higher levels of pesticides will be present, and in those cases, buying organic would definitely be a wise option.  For the produce that tends to be lower in pesticides, buying organic is not as critical.  According to this guide, the following foods tend to be the most contaminated: apples, bell peppers, celery, cherries, grapes (imported), nectarines, peaches, pears, potatoes, red rasberries, spinach, strawberries.  The least contaminated foods are: asparagus, avocados, bananas, broccoli, cauliflower, corn, kiwi, mangos, onions, papaya, pineapples, peas.  Instead of memorizing this list, I recommend printing out this handy wallet guide for easy reference when grocery shopping.
4. Where to buy organic food.  It used to be that only specialty stores carried a wide assortment of organic products, but now most grocery stores offer many organic options and even entire sections dedicated to organic food.  Here are some of the options to consider:
   • Health-food stores such as Whole Foods are still the best source for organic food and products, but they tend to be very expensive.  I do like them for buying grains and spices in bulk, which tend to run significantly cheaper than the packaged ones. 
   • Other grocery stores can vary widely in their selection, but I would recommend Trader Joe’s because they offer many organic choices at very reasonable prices. 
   • Another option is your local farmers’ market, where you can find many fresh organic produce with the added benefit of supporting your local farmers. 
   • Finally, for non-perishable items, there are mail-order and online options.  One that I would recommend is Azure Standard, which offers a dizzying array of organic products at incredible prices. 

As you can see, buying organic doesn’t have to be an all-or-nothing endeavor, and as a consumer you can make smart choices that will allow you and your family to eat healthy without breaking the bank.

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Every Monday, I will do a digest of articles and news that may be of interest to my readers.

• My article How to Go from Overwhelmed to Productive was featured this week in two blog carnivals: FitBuff.com’s Total Mind and Body Fitness and The Carnival of Family Life.  Both of these carnivals feature some fantastic articles on important topics that are worth reading about. 
• Also on the subject of personal productivity, I was intrigued by the following article by Steve Pavlina: How to Create a Personal Productivity Scaffold.  As someone who never seems to have enough hours in the day to get everything done and has trouble staying focused at work, I appreciated this simple approach to setting up my day for success.
• Yesterday I wrote about how to choose a baby name; a recent Wall Street Journal article, The Baby-Name Business illustrates how some parents take something as personal as that to an extreme, even going as far as hiring consultants and numerologists to come up with a “perfect” name for their child.  It also underscores the underlying anxiety that today’s parents experience when it comes to naming their baby.

For future parents, choosing a name for their baby is probably one of the most fun tasks, but it can also be one of the most stressful.  After all, you are choosing the name that another human being is going to carry with them for their entire life.  Of course, an adult can always change their legal name if they absolutely hate the one they are given, but as parents you’d rather pick out a good name from the beginning. 

What makes picking out a name so challenging? First of all, there are so many different names to choose from.  Especially now, when unusual and non-traditional names are becoming commonplace, which makes for endless possibilities.  Second, you want a name to accomplish several things: be at least somewhat unique (you don’t want your child to be one of five kids in their class with the same name), be pretty (for girls) or masculine (for boys) so that they don’t get picked on in grade school, go well with their last name, and perhaps have some special meaning.  The third (and often biggest) challenge is the fact that people simply have different tastes and tend to have strong opinions about names that they like or dislike.  While naming a child is ultimately the parents’ prerogative, everyone under the sun (especially relatives) wants to weigh in with their suggestions.

So, where do you begin?  Having recently gone through the process of choosing a name for our little girl, here are some ideas that we’ve found helpful:

1. Start with a broad list of names.  While you and your partner may already have your favorite names, it’s still good to be open to other possibilities.  Starting with a broader list may give you ideas for names that you haven’t considered.  Where to find such a list?  You can turn to one of the many baby name books on the market, or use online resources, such as babynames.com or babynamesworld.com.  Many of these resources allow you to look up names by specific categories, such as country of origin, meaning, religion, or literary source.  In our case, we wanted to name our child according to the Russian Orthodox tradition that requires the name to be that of a saint, which was helpful in narrowing down the search.

2. Narrow it down.  Let each partner go down the list and write down all the names that he or she would consider.  These don’t have to be the names that they absolutely love but rather the names that they could live with.  Then, compare your lists and see if you have any names in common.  Then, write those names down.  This will be your new list to work from.  Chances are, it will be much shorter than either of your individual lists.  We ended up with 8 names for girls and 4 names for boys (we didn’t know at that time whom we were having).  What happens if your partner didn’t choose the one name that you absolutely loved?  Well, tell them about it and the reasons why you love it, and ask if they would reconsider.  Our rule was that each of us had the veto power - so if one of us absolutely didn’t like the name, it would be taken out of consideration.

3. Research.  Now that you have a short list of names, you can do further research about them.  Go to the resources mentioned above and look up meanings of the names - perhaps one would strike you as particularly special after you learn what it means.  Research your family history - is there someone with the same name that you would want to name the baby after (or not!).  Read what other people think about the name (pregnancyandbaby.com features baby name reviews, which I found helpful).  If you are so inclined, talk to other people you trust and ask for their opinions - but be careful, because the more people you involve in the process, the more diverse opinions you are going to get.  We decided to keep our families out of the decision process because we wanted to name our baby something that had a special meaning for both of us, and we didn’t want to be influenced by everyone else’s opinions.

At this point, you should be able to narrow down the list significantly, perhaps to just a couple of names.  Then, it really becomes a matter of your gut feeling as to which name speaks to you more.  The good thing is, you still have a few months to make that final decision.  (In fact, you have a couple of days after the baby is born before you need to put their name on the birth certificate.)  Some people choose to announce the name as soon as they know, while others wait until the baby is finally born, so that they can see the little one before making that final decision.  Make it whatever works for you.  Don’t forget that it is ultimately your and your partner’s decision, and it should be a joyous process, not a stressful one!